Twelfth son of the Lama

I know I had mentioned previously that I'm not a slave to celebrity - most of 'em, anyways - but the Dalai Lama's a tough guy to turn down. Let's be serious: A world leader, spiritual rockstar, and champion of non-violence - the guy's a triple-threat (actually, not all that threatening). When a ticket surfaced to go hear him speak at MIT, I couldn't resist.

As an exercise in breathless celebrity worship, however, it was an utter failure, owing entirely to the way in which he conducts himself. You look at this man, knowing full-well how revered, how great and honorable a soul he is... and you laugh. Because this is the man that's sitting in front of you:


He's patently ridiculous. And it's actually quite wonderful.

The talk he gave centered on the need for a return to ethics, especially a secular/universal system of ethics (pointing out that America's recent financial crisis was precipitated by a crisis in ethics). It was difficult to understand half of what was said, as his English isn't fantastic and his translator periodically had to help facilitate his communication. On top of that, he was prone to tangents in an endearingly grandfatherly way; the man talks about whatever it is he wants to talk about, ticket price be damned. What he had to say about ethics, non-violence, and compassion (always compassion) weren't terribly surprising, either. He himself states that, while powerful, these are extremely simple concepts.

What did surprise me was, despite his obvious idealism, is that he's also profoundly realist. An MIT student asked if one can reconcile working for the military-industrial complex with a belief in non-violence. The Dalai Lama's response was, basically, "A man's gotta eat." He echoed this sentiment several times during the talk, stating that, while he wouldn't exactly applaud one's choice to build bombs for a living, you can't effect change through pure idealism. Rather, it all starts with compassion (again with the compassion?).

The other moment he surprised me was when he told us all how much he respected and loved George W. Bush. That's right. Our George W. Bush. "You can have him!" would probably have been the sentiment of most of the audience. It's not to say the Dalai Lama approved of Bush's administration or policies, though; rather, the things he talked about were Bush's sense of humor, his humility and directness (traits that really have been ascribed to him by basically anyone who's written on the topic). It went to show, and I believe it was meant to, that he's operating mainly at the level of human interactions - that politics is top-down, while he intends to work from the ground up.

He loves to laugh. In fact, he's almost constantly chuckling when he's not contemplative or voicing profundities. He made jokes about living in exile and about why the Chinese government is so afraid of him (it's because of his devil horns, apparently). He even joked that when Chinese officials searched his person (and I kid you not) he warned them that his constipation might prevent them from searching his shit. Sans vulgarity of course - the Dalai Lama may deal in cheap laughs, but this was a family affair.

All in all, it was fascinating to hear him speak. He was an unexpected character. MIT undergrads, on the other hand... well, their behavior was expected. During the Q&A a girl asked this question:

"What do you think MIT's role should be with regard to big industry - specifically pharmaceutical companies?" (Fishing for the Dalai Lama to diss the school)

His replay was this: "I don't know. Hmmm. (Something like 'do what you feel is right'). Next question."

The audience laughed and applauded his non-answer, which was entirely appropriate. He had failed to remember where he was no less than three times over the course of the talk. He clearly had no real picture of MIT as an institution; how could he begin to advise them on their relationship with big-pharma?

The girl then attempted a follow-up question, ignoring the Q&A format and apparently irritated by the snub. The Dalai Lama shut her down.

"Next question."

The girl then made a face. At the Dalai Lama. Seriously. Her nose scrunched up and her mouth hung open in outrage, an unspoken "That bitch!" practically dangling from her lips. Well, you know what? Probably no total consciousness for you.

Buddhists one, snotty undergrads zero.

More like X-Men WHORE-IGINS!

amirite? LOL!

Hope you enjoyed that hilarious post title. I also hope you won't mind that it's a mask for a film review that takes its subject too seriously. (There should be a warning label on comic book fanboy writing: Abandon all levity/self-awareness, ye who enter here.) Seriously, though, I'll at least try and keep my discussion of Marvel canon to a minimum.

So we've got this movie, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And you know, deep inside your heart, even as you're making plans to see it, that it is terrible. You accept this. You accept it because it's a summer blockbuster, and because you can forgive Hugh Jackman just about anything so long as he's disemboweling people (while keepin' it PG-13). Lowered expectations are key, and to their credit they got me through the film relatively unscathed. The credits rolled. I stood up.
"Wow, that wasn't nearly as painful as I imagined it was going to be!" I thought, as though I were leaving the dentist's office. That relief lasted for about fifteen minutes before giving way to the dual outrages of a comic fan and moviegoer (the former being the more sensitive of those two sensibilities).
"Wait a minute," I said, stopping just outside of Park St station. "Didn't I read a comic called Wolverine: Origin? And wasn't it not... that?"

This was dangerous thinking. Not because the departure is in itself offensive. No, the problem is that the comic was really pretty decent and told a surprising story about Wolverine's (wait for it) origins. So it's baffling that the filmmakers decided to completely avoid depicting any of the events of that series (well, not completely... those first two cursory minutes of film were adapted from the comic, but became the first of many cliches in their hands). Instead they told a largely non-sensical story that did little to illuminate any of what made Wolverine the character he is, while shoe-horning in every Tom, Dick, and Cyclops they could, regardless of whether the character added anything to the film's plot. The pacing of the film suffers as a result, hobbled by a series of scenes that fail to advance the narrative, which is deadly for a movie as stupid as Origins. The dialogue's unexpectedly wooden, even for a comic book movie (see: "I thought you were the moon...") and the plot devices are cliched to the point of exasperation.

The real killer, though - I mean the thing that keeps me talking about this movie long after it no longer deserves to be spoken of - is that it could have been a good and decent romp, but they focused on the wrong story (or arguably on no story at all). I don't think people care so much where Wolverine's metal skeleton came from as from where the character of Wolverine emerged, an issue that's central to the comics but totally sidestepped in this film. The most entertaining period is at the beginning of the movie, both because the story's flaws haven't yet become glaringly obvious and because it's at this point that there's still potential to see some character development - to see a well-established hero in a new light and understand the extraordinary circumstances that made him. Ideally, I would've liked to see more of the "historical Wolverine," who survived a traumatic childhood and matured in a dog-eat-dog border town. Barring that, we should have at least seen more of his time bumping around the world with the Weapon X team. These early fight scenes were exciting and, with the exception of Will-I-Am, the team's casting was quite good. Plus we could've seen a bit more of the build-up that leads to Wolverine going AWOL; rather than using that as an excuse for the remainder of the film, it could've been a plot point in itself.

I could go on, but I think that's the main point. Potential was there; they had a body of work ready to draw upon. Yet the end result was an incoherent mess, full of plot holes and superfluous "familiar face" characters; a story that dragged itself in circles and then collapsed on the floor, beyond caring. My verdict: Skip it. Watch the trailers for Terminator: Salvation, District 9, and Funny People and you'll have seen the best parts of Wolverine.



...Plus, how do you block lasers with claws?

The State of Our Trailers

This is going to be a short post, but know that there are things I yet mean to discuss with you - movie reviews, inside info on the dispositions of religious leaders, and other miscellany. Such things have to wait, though. Why? Because I don't feel like it right now. Ask me again later.

I only have the energy currently to make one point: Movie trailers of late have made some excellent use of popular music. You may recall my past obsession with the trailer for 9, which used Coheed and Cambria to great effect; my favorite Watchmen trailer was set to Muse's "Take a Bow;" and now my new favorite trailer, for Terminator: Savlation, finds itself indebted to the vocals of Trent Reznor. What so delights me about these pairings is how much they make sense. Coheed and Cambria are D&D rock nerds; Muse make what can only be termed "superhero music;" and NIN has always been a soundtrack for the end of the world ("In This Twilight" being my favorite fade-to-black apocalypse track). All of which leads me to question: Whose job is it to play musical matchmaker? Because I want it.

One last thing I will get in is that I am well prepared to be blown away by a new Terminator movie. While it won't be a "reboot" per se, the franchise was desperately in need of this change in setting. In addition, the new trailer shows some Battlestar Galactica themes peeking through, the prospect of which sends my salivary glands into Pavlovian overdrive.