I realize now that I haven't said word one about burritos yet, which makes me guilty of false advertising. Know that I am exceedingly contrite in this realization. I was probably just hungry when I came up with the subtitle for this blog... but like the famished politicians of ages past, I have failed to deliver on the campaign promises of my pro-burrito platform. Allow me to make amends and prove to you that I am a man of integrity.
(Actually, before I do that, talking about hungry government officials made me think of a classic Onion video, which I will now link to here)
(Actually, before I do that, talking about hungry government officials made me think of a classic Onion video, which I will now link to here)
Sometimes, though, you want to treat yourself. Sometimes you want a true meal of a burrito, the kind that will haunt your thoughts during the quiet hours; the kind where the mere thought of it makes your eyes glaze and your lips go dry. In honesty, the only place I know to go for that sort of transcendental experience is Burlington, VT, home of the University of Vermont and, coincidentally, Elliot Simons. That lucky bastard. What was the name of that place, anyways, El? The one where they drizzle the burritos in sauce? Oh, the presentation! It was magnificent, with a taste to match. The waitstaff were, I must say, wicked cute, if a little too-knowledgable ("It's against the law for us to serve margaritas by the pitcher." Oh, so you're a lawyer now? [Flips table]). Despite our waitress' insolence, though, I would have gladly married off my little brother that night.
Anyways, El, if you can put a name to this dream-like recollection of mine, that'd be most appreciated.
According to Google Maps, our future residence, at the nexus of the universe of Cedar at Cedar, we will be 6 minutes walking distance to Anna's (13 minutes to the other Anna's), 5 minutes to Taco's Lupita, 7 minutes to a Qdoba if we feel like slumming it, 11 minutes to Boca Grande, and 12 minutes to Picante Mexican Grill. I have now stopped bothering to look, I think we're in the burrito district. You and Elliot should go on a burrito crawl and visit them all, provided you make use of someone else's bathroom before you come home.
ReplyDeleteNow we just need to find out if any of those establishments have margaritas in pitchers.
Or we can always go to Acapulcos. Mariachi band plus margarita pitchers? I don't think I need to remind you that those two things after surfboarding made for the best day of last summer.
ReplyDeletei have so many things to say about burritos i am unsure where to begin.
ReplyDelete1. I find it hilarious that the best burrito you have ever experienced is located in the whitest of all whitey-cracka towns in the COUNTRY. was this burrito made by patchouli wearing tree-huggers? if so, i am pretty sure this burrito can not possibly be as good as you say. Speaking of non-authentic burritos, I'd like you to recall for a moment the time that you and your homeboys devoured mammoth burritos in Amherst, MA. And then defiled my bathroom. Each and every one of you. (shudder)
2. There is a Tacos Lupita in Lynn that i used to frequent whilst employed with FNX. Now THAT was a damn good burrito. i am still undecided as to whether or not the crack laced beef had anything to do with my experience.
3. Agreed, Anna's is always a safe bet for tasty deliciousness. Their green sauce is faaaantastic.
4. Two places to avoid at all costs: Qdoba and Boloco. DI-SGUS-TING.
5. I totally should have taken you guys to at least one of the thousand Mexican joints in my neighborhood! The burritos here are nothing fancy--just straight up awesomeness made by the people who invented them. One particular place, Tacos Matomoros, sells 'em for $2!
1. Improbable, I know, but absolutely 100% true. And no, unless they were hiding hippies in the kitchen, no Phish-loving hands touched my burrito. Also, I do recall the desecration of your apartment. I recall it with great relish.
ReplyDelete2. Okay.
3. Okay.
4. Yes.
5. You should have. Shame on you.
Evan, the place was called Meñores, and I've tried to go back a number of times... each time to find the doors locked and the lights off, always during prime dining hours. I don't know what to tell you. I don't want to think about it myself.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it wasn't meant as an endless font of Mexican ecstasy. Maybe we were given one transcendental experience so that we could once know true glory and be forever dissatisfied with common burritos and cheap women therafter.
I certainly have been.